Last week for my daughter’s 17th birthday she requested a trip with me to the nail salon for manicures and pedicures.
While I relaxed in the chair with my feet soaking in the warm water, I couldn’t help but notice an adorable little girl, maybe seven or eight years old, sitting next to my daughter getting her fingernails painted. Once finished, the little girl timidly made her way across the salon to her mother, who was also getting a manicure. The little girl bounced into the chair next to her mom, slid closer to her side, gently laid her head on her shoulder, looked up, and met her mother’s gaze with what I can only describe as ‘the look of love’.
The love between them was palpable as their eyes met, even with their faces concealed with masks. In that instant, my friend, my heart melted. 💗
Fast forward to last night. We streamed The War With Grandpa, a comedy about a grandfather and his grandson and their battle to gain control of the coveted bedroom in the house. My mind was quickly fixated by this film, but NOT because of the grandfather or the grandson or the mischievousness of their antics. My mind instead was drawn to the portrayal of the boy’s older, teenage sister. She was the epitome of EVERY commonly perceived definition of a modern-day teen: angsty, self-centered, constantly annoyed (and annoying), sneaky, lying, hormonal, quick-tempered, and, my favorite, oh so very horny. 🤣
As I laid in bed trying to fall asleep, my mind reflected on the relevance and significance of each story to me and my own life.
I loved having ‘little’ kids. It felt natural and easy and simple. We were physically and emotionally close. ‘The look of love’ was something I received and shared frequently with them.
And then, my ‘little’ kids turned into teens. I disliked having teens. It felt unnatural and hard and complicated. We were physically and emotionally distant. ‘The look of love’ was something I never received and rarely shared with them.
This is why I went on a journey. I believed ‘the look of love’ and having a modern-day teenager didn’t have to be mutually exclusive. They didn’t have to be things that couldn’t coexist. I believed I could share ‘the look of love’ with my modern-day teen. This belief fueled me down a path of discovery, learning, and growth. I strived to develop the skills I was lacking that I knew would draw my teens toward me.
And now…here I am. On a Wednesday. With four modern-day teens in my home. Sharing ‘the look of love’ almost as often as we choose to breathe. It’s become a natural part of our lives together. It’s become easy and simple as it once was. We’re physically and emotionally close again.
My friend, no matter how angsty, self-centered, annoying, sneaky, lying, unproductive, rude, disobedient, or hormonal you believe your modern-day teenager is. No matter how long it’s been since you’ve shared or seen ‘the look of love’ from your teen. DO NOT GIVE UP – on you OR on them. I was at rock-bottom when I began my journey and so can you. You can create the change you’re longing for. You can create a home that’s filled with ease and joy and unity.
You CAN create a home that’s filled with a modern-day teen AND ‘the look of love’.
