The problem, however, isn’t the daughter. The problem is the story the mom tells and continues to hang on to about her daughter. “She’s been difficult since birth. She cried and cried, not from colic, just wanting to cry. She was difficult as a toddler too. She’s always been difficult. Always. It’s just the way she is. Everyone who’s close to her sees it and recognizes she’s difficult.”
The more she shared, the more evident it became she didn’t want to let go of her story. She felt it was true and she believed she’d convince me of it too with every additional experience she detailed. But she didn’t. The more she shared the more I knew she needed to let go, to release her death grip on this terrible story about her daughter that wasn’t serving her. Her story, her thinking, was creating a huge wedge between them–complete disconnection. An absolute inability for either of them to see each other for who they truly are as individual and unique humans. And still, after numerous attempts to lovingly help her see what she’s creating, she, like the water droplet, hung on for dear life. Choosing to cling to what she knew instead of risking the frightful plunge into embracing something new and unknown.
Letting go is hard, but so is living WITHOUT a deeply connected relationship with your daughter.
Which are you choosing and why?
If you’re afraid of letting go, don’t worry, I’ve got you. You don’t need to do this alone. That’s what a coach is for. To be a non-judgmental, supportive, open-your-eyes-to-what-you-can’t-see-on-your-own partner in your life. That’s what I do and I’m good at it. I’ve helped lots of moms create exactly what you’re wanting…lasting connection with a “difficult” teenager.
Are you ready? I am
