A friend of mine recently posted a link on Facebook titled, “Turns Out, I Had No Idea How Hard it is to Parent Teens.”
Since I specialize in helping teens and parents, of course, I clicked the link and read the article.
The author pointed out many things the typical teenager does that justifies her use of the word “hard” in the title of her article.
I too used to believe parenting teens was hard. I struggled to understand how to interact with them, how to guide them without controlling them, and how to teach them to spread their wings to fly while still ensuring their safety.
It felt hard, confusing, and exhausting UNTIL I decided it just wasn’t hard. It was EASY!
I intentionally chose to make parenting my teens EASY. To truly believe it was EASY. To believe I knew exactly how to do it. To trust myself to show up as the best parent I could for my teens.
And you know what?
It became easier. Day by day I made steps in improving my perspective.
Today I honestly believe parenting teens is EASY.
But most parents don’t.
Part of the problem is there are way too many people reaffirming and validating the belief that parenting teens IS hard. I see it everywhere. In FB groups, online, at stores. Like it’s just a fact we all agree on. That it’s challenging. That it can’t be done with joy and fun and happiness.
But none of this is true.
The first step in making parenting teens EASY is you have to stop telling yourself that it’s HARD.
Ask yourself how you feel when you believe parenting teens is hard?
Defeated, unmotivated, pressured, stressed, anxious, sad, frustrated?
Our best parenting never comes from these negative feelings.
Notice how you choose to parent from those emotions. Short, without compassion, without patience, without forgiveness, with judgment, with disbelief.
It’s no wonder so many teens struggle to connect with their parents on a deep emotional level.
Imagine how challenging it would be to connect with someone when they’re showing up that way, especially as a teenager. Downright impossible? Absolutely.
So, if you’re like me and you truly want to connect with your teens, begin by telling yourself the truth. Stop making excuses. Stop taking the easy way out. Choose with intention to not believe the story that parenting teens is hard. The only thing that belief gets you is negativity. Negativity is the opposite of connection.
I know it seems challenging and difficult, but take it a day at a time. Notice the AMAZING things your teen does today that you haven’t noticed before. Your brain is looking for all the ways parenting teens is hard. Instead, ASK IT to look for all the ways parenting teens is EASY! I promise it will find them! Like you don’t have to pack a bag when you go out with teens. 🙂 Amazing.
