| Feeling stuck and questioning which way to turn? I see you, my friend, sitting with your head bowed. Your body slumped in the chair. You’re here but you’re not present. Your mind is distant. It’s off somewhere. Swimming in the depths of doubt, self-loathing, and despair. You’re fearful. You want to give up. You want to give in. You’re ready to let it all go. To release your grasp on everything you hold dear. To admit you don’t have what it takes – to be a mom. A mom of two teen boys. Boys that sometimes do the wrong thing. Boys that sometimes get aggressive and try to hurt each other. Boys that don’t know how to show you what you want to see. And so you believe you’re failing. That you’re a terrible mother. That you’re doing it all wrong. Because if you were doing it right, things would be different. They’d listen and do their chores and be kind to each other. And then you’d all enjoy family dinner and you’d feel safe. Safe in your own home. Safe as a mother. A mother who knows she’s doing her job well. I see you, my friend. I won’t let you drown in despair. I won’t let you give up or give in or believe that you’ve lost. Because the truth is, you’ve only lost if you choose not to show up. And showing up is what you’re learning to do. But showing up doesn’t feel doable right now. In fact, it downright sucks. Doing anything, saying anything, even getting out of the chair. It all feels impossible. But it’s not. I know because I once sat in the chair too. My body was there but my thoughts were always adrift. I wallowed in a reality I created in my mind. A place that was dark, empty, and lonely. I believed all was lost. That there was no hope. What was broken could never be fixed. I was a terrible mother. I did not know what to do. Until one day I did. If I wanted things to change, I needed to change. I was stuck in a pattern that wasn’t working. I knew it wasn’t working because I wasn’t creating the results that I wanted. I was like a Nascar driver that was really good at making left turns. I could cruise around the race track with ease. But even as an expert at making left turns, making ONLY left turns meant I ONLY went left. I was stuck spinning in circles (or ovals 😉). I’d been making left turns for so long I didn’t know what else to do. They were comfortable and familiar and yet NOT productive. Left turns weren’t getting me where I wanted to go and right turns were not a skill that I had. I was in a dilemma. I wanted a different life with different results. This meant I had to take different actions. I’d been stuck doing the same things, over and over, and it always got me to the same place. I was getting nowhere new. And then it clicked. Of course, that’s what would happen! Left turns lead to going left. Always. Right turns lead to going right. Always. The recognition of what I needed to do was WAY easier than actually doing it. Making that first right turn felt awkward and strange and, let’s be honest, downright scary, but it got me off the track and out of the repetitive cycle loop. I was now blazing a new trail. A trail that would eventually lead me to skills that got me where I am today. New actions led to new results. My beloved friend, you looked me in the eyes and asked for practical steps to get you out of this slump: Make a right turn. Choose to blaze a new trail. You’re really good at making left turns, but left turns aren’t getting you where you want to go. It’s ok that you’re an expert left-turner. Stop judging yourself for that and breathe easy as you shed your old skin. You’re becoming someone new. A mother that makes right turns even when she’s uncertain about her ability to do so. Get out of your chair. Arise. Be brave and courageous. You can do this. Today’s the first day of the life you’ve been wanting. Choose to make your first right turn. 💗 |
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