Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays.
I LOVE … sleeping in. A long outdoor morning run by myself. Watching families and friends play football in nearby neighborhood parks. Mashing potatoes in the kitchen. Eating delicious food. Spending ample time with family. Costco pumpkin pie with Cool Whip.
Ahhh, yes, I really do love it all. 💗 Even the being thankful part … once I truly figured it out.
As a mother of four young kids, I’d attempted to create an atmosphere of gratitude in our home during Thanksgiving by organizing and planning various activities for our children to participate in.
One year we had a thankful tree. Our children pulled paper leaves from a jar, wrote something they were grateful for on the back, and tied it to a branch I’d mounted in another jar. It was cute, fun, and our family enjoyed it.
Another year we had gratitude journals we wrote in nightly. We spent a few minutes at the kitchen table recording the things we were grateful for. Again, it was cute, fun, and our family enjoyed it.
But year after year I felt something was missing. No matter what gratitude practices I followed, it seemed flat, dull, and hollow. Truth be told, I was thankful but I felt empty.
I’d speak of and write lists of all the things I was grateful for and I did genuinely feel thankful for them. And still, something was missing. I just didn’t know what it was.
Then one year — many, many years later, my kids having grown from littles into tweens and teens — my coach, Brooke Castillo, taught me something I’d never heard before.
She said, “First, make a list of the things you want.“
(Note: The word “things” is inclusive of people, relationships, situations, and physical items)
So I did. I made a VERY long, detailed list of ALL the things I wanted.
“Second, note how many of the things on the list you currently have.“
I scanned my hand-written list slowly from top to bottom and guess what? I had none of the things I’d listed.
NONE. Not one.
Brooke then explained that when we live with the perspective of always wanting things we don’t have, we live in scarcity.
That’s the moment it hit me. I’d been living my life in scarcity mode. This meant I had been viewing the world from the viewpoint of shortage, lack, and undersupply. I was trying to find gratitude and feel thankful for things I had, but there was so much “I don’t have” thinking butting-up against my “I do have” thinking that I’d created a natural tendency to focus on lack, instead of on abundance.
It became even clearer when Brooke continued,
“Now, make a list of the things you want that you already have.“
Wait, what? I can want things I already have?
That’s when my brain exploded. Again, Brooke taught me something *life-changing* I’d never heard in my 40+ years of life.
I can want things I already have.
I can want things I have.
I CAN WANT things I HAVE.
I had to say it over and over in my mind to make it sink in.
It was then everything fell into place. I’d found the piece I’d always been missing. Choosing to acknowledge what I had that I also WANTED allowed my mindset to shift in a matter of minutes. It was amazing!
Gratitude suddenly became natural and abundant. Warm and flowing. Full and sublime. Just how I’d always wanted it to be.
True gratitude was immense and bounteous and joyous. A treasure to be savored. For sure.
So, this year as you focus on gratitude and acknowledge the goodness you have in your life, give yourself the space to remember the things you want that you already have. You might be surprised by what you discover.
Happy thanksgiving, and thank YOU for being a Share the Joy Coaching email subscriber. I remember wanting you to be here and now look, you’re here! I’m so grateful you are on this journey of connection with me. I never take lightly the responsibility that comes with being welcomed into your inbox each week. I truly cherish and appreciate your continued trust in me and my coaching business.
