It was March 2015.
My son was at the top of his game:
At school – Straight A’s. Glowing teacher reviews. Close friends.
At home – Clean room. Chores done. Kind to siblings and parents.
We celebrated his 13th birthday with joy.
The best was yet to come.
In May, he completed 7th grade at a rigorous charter school.
Out of 120 students, he received the Virtus Award. The top honor given.
It highlighted his excellence in all areas of his life.
Together, we sailed through a relaxing summer and early fall.
By October, just two months into 8th grade, everything changed.
At school – Straight A’s were now C’s and D’s. Teachers sent deficiency notices.
At home – Messy room. Chores left undone. Hiding from siblings and parents.
From there, things would only get worse.
As a mother, I was not equipped for these challenges. I did not have the skills I needed to raise a teenager. And a raise a teenager well. For years, he would struggle. And, so would I. It wasn’t until I figured things out that he eventually would too.
Now, in 2025, ten years later, I know what went wrong. I know the skills I was missing—skills I now have that make raising a teenager SO much easier.
But here’s the thing. Doing what I did wasn’t easy. Because back then, I believed my teen was to blame for everything. I believed he was solely responsible for our troubles. My mind constantly told me, “If he’d just do what he’s supposed to, everything would be okay.”
The truth is – he wasn’t to blame. He hadn’t created the nightmare we were living. I had.
I had played a role – a HUGE role in all the crap we went through – and he simply followed my lead. He didn’t know any better. Admitting this to myself was one of the most challenging things I’ve ever done. Owning my responsibility meant I had to be vulnerable. Look inside. Shed my armor and peel back the layers. I had to be curious instead of judgmental. And I had to admit there were things I didn’t know and didn’t do well. Ouch.
As time passed, I learned what I didn’t know—that I needed to know—and acquired skills I didn’t have—that I needed to have. It’s made raising a teenager SO MUCH easier.
Over the coming year, I will teach you the skills you need to raise a teenager. But in order for that to happen, we’ve got to agree on one important thing—you will do hard now to create ease later.
HARD means admitting what’s gone wrong and vowing to make it right.
HARD means seeing your role. Accepting responsibility. Looking inside.
And changing what you find.
HARD means turning ineffective habits into intentional behaviors that work.
Even when they don’t feel good or come naturally.
But don’t worry. Hard isn’t actually hard. It’s just different than what you’ve always done. And that means your brain will tell you it’s hard. Because, let’s be real, our mom brains are older and set in their ways, so they don’t like change. They don’t want to learn new tricks. But trust me when I say – change is the way. And what lies on the other side is EASE.
EASE means new intentional behaviors that create effective habits and patterns.
EASE means connection and a parenting lifestyle you and your teen both love.
EASE means having the skills to raise a teenager and raise a teenager well.
And that’s what we’re here to do.
So, let’s do it. We start next week.
Are you ready? I am!
